Friday, July 29, 2005

Howard sore - IRA outshines him

Howard is trying his best to stir up something. Who knows what. In any event, it's painfully evident the man has a chip on his shoulder because he can't "out-noble" the laying down of arms. Howard, having just returned from Iraq decked out in "Dad's army outfit" clearly cannot compete and so falls back on half-cooked public statements.
Howard;

"The IRA were terrorists and they murdered people and the reason that the British security forces and police are so effective in responding to terrorist attacks is the bitter 30 years' experience of dealing with the IRA." the rest

Praising the IRA with faint damnation? - IRA improved Britain's "anti-terror" response - IRA, effective?

Well whatever, deploring killings after so recently doning military garb in front of the press is more then a little hypocritical, at the very least blurring the borders of reason.












Update, nailing final nail in; I guess it's one of those weeks for Howard, everybody else is just so much more graceful.

Arrest me, I blog.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Vizard gets off hook - but only in real life

Disgraced businessman Steve Vizard has been handed a $390,000 fine and a 10-year ban as a director for illegal share trading during his stint on the board of Telstra. more

Far too lenient.

Amended sentence (as I see fit);


Vizard banned forever from any sort of share trading at all, unless he donates all his share profits, past present and future, to bonafide street buskers. For which a street buskers distribution fund will be created, and regulated by the funding body of the Australia Council for the Arts. (Wow, I just created at least four new job vacancies).

A $390,000 fine is a pittance to this man. Vizard instead ordered to pay $100,000,000 or half his lifes saving, whichever is the greater, to the poorest public hospital in his state.

He shall be allowed to support himself by working as a telephone operator in a telstra callcentre.

Now that would be nearer justice.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Seeing through big brother

If this is introduced, I may stop traveling. I expect others may too. I expect holiday air-travel will abate, and seeing as that's where airline companies make their buck I expect airline tickets will become more costly. And then, I expect air-travel may be relegated to business travel. And perhaps "elite" travellers" who, perhaps, are "waived" the indignation.

Sydney Airport says it is keeping a close eye on overseas trials of a machine that can see through your clothes and show whether you are carrying a bomb or a gun. The drawback is that in answering the question "Is that a gun in your pocket?", it removes the pocket - and the rest of your clothing, too, leaving security staff looking at an image of you naked on a screen.

The technology - millimetre-wave imaging, which detects radiation emitted by the body - is being trialled at airports in Britain and the United States. It is billed as an electronic strip search, but civil liberties groups have raised privacy concerns, as well as fears that images, particularly those of children, could be misused. more


Monday, July 18, 2005

And lastly, the third thing

The third thing that bugs me about the web. Is not the silly games that people play, the hopeless subterfuge and second-guessing, the assumptions and overblown ego's, the jumping to conclusions and threshing about all valiant without noting the mote in a bloggers own eye (open it). The third thing that bugs me about the web, is none of these things.

The third thing that bugs me about the web, is the way I still have a mile high stack of paper left over from dash-boardless moments, which I will never get around to posting. And from past experience, will probably just burn when next I move home.

Self-emersion

And you know the other thing that bugs me about the web? It stiffles your individuality. Yes, stiffles. It does. At times, everyone all ends up sounding the same. Anonymous. I swear, sometimes one comment thread will look as though it's composed all by the same person, having an elaborate and imaginary conversation with himself.

How very odd. How very very queer. And at the same time, how mundane and homogenous.

And you know, what is most annoying of all? When you start writing that formulaic net-speak. Dammit. I have to do enough of that at work as it is (formulaic that is). Sometimes, I would rather write a manual then write the tripe that genius would appear to demand.

On the other hand, who needs a manual when there is google.

See what I mean? You just can't escape the damn thing. The world wide web, for all it's altruism, could be the ruin of us all.

Self-censorship

You know what pisses me off most annoys me a great deal about war and the web? The way it over-sensitises everybody.

I just banged up a two-minute snakebite and had to hug myself it was so funny. But then I thought, dammit, you can't post that. Someone's bound to take it the wrong way in light of recent events.

So much for freedom of speech eh.

At the end of day, it's not fear of abduction that keeps me from posting, it's the knowledge that I may hurt the feelings of a stranger who's safer then houses.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Non-political post (with blonde highlights)

Just to make it clear again. In case anybody almost forgot.

I despise marxist theory almost as much as I loathe George Bush and Condoleeza Rice.

And I am not a centrist. I am just your ordinary everyday middle of the road undistinguished and gauche eccentric, leaning on fences (nonchalant) and regularly walking through walls.

All I want is for the world to be able to sip on Homo lights and chew rainbow coloured salads in peace, and twirl angels on pinheads. Because that's the sort of rotation that keeps the world spinning. Except that I just think Norway should sell it for free, otherwise, you know, 20 kroner kind of cheapens it and you might as well just go back to turning tricks for coke. Or something. See, you can tell I am naive and uninformed and that's all that matters at this stage, as I point out how run-of-the-mill I am. And how un-politically unmaligned and pure I am. How normal, and unswayed by elaborate political maneuver. That I, am just your regular plain-speaking crackpot diarist. And that I do not care or wonder that Norwegian Finance Minister Per-Kristian Foss is a conservative, even though I can't stand conservative foreign policy.

Oh look, this must be the Homo light promo material. And here it is again! How, peculiar.

Norwegian homosexuals are set to launch their own soda brand, Homo light, at an upcoming gastronomic festival, in the hope that it will help promote tolerance, one of the authors of the project said today.

"The goal is not for us to make money but to make us more visible and accepted," Oeystein Mauritzen say.

The soda... will be sold in half-litre bottles for 20 kroner.

more

Sunday, July 10, 2005

"Spreading the word"

Proof that all "right" identifying bloggers are spoofing George Bush - nobody can be that short sighted and manage to somehow type.

Today I read some 'merican rallying together supporters to "annoy a dictator today". I guess this's my contribution then.

Friday, July 08, 2005

lyrical in the AM

Mary's flock
are all at sea
one thousand pea-green boats
or more

there is no snow white
or golden fleece in Olympia, Atlantis
only bleach
and fluid yellow stains

Latona, the Son
will nothing ever change
no
London is burning

Thursday, July 07, 2005

L'Oreal world peace appeal

Hm. I wonder if this will work. Had some "young man" advice today (from dear young man).

"if you stop talking politics and dye your hair shiney blonde you will have 200 chasing you."


Eeep. I don't really need 200 - on the other hand, this is valuable and interesting advice.

Deep breath;

"My name is Helga and I am from Scandanavia, I am Helsinki platinum (product code REC114W) and use colour-lock *insert brand* hot-oil hair treatment. Now my hair is silky smooth and swings maidenly (Marion, flaxen) as I hold aloft my workers emancipation placard (at flattering angle). I believe in world peace and an end to all poverty. My greatest desire is to live happily ever after and John Howard is a Curr. I will not be voting for him ever again. Excuse me while I go tend to my pedicure, I find *insert brand* foot cream a most satisfying moisturising experience and I hope to use it 3x weekly before my next appearance at the Lady Diana No More Landmines function. Bless her Queen of hearts. She lived her life like a candle in the wind (Amnesty).

I hope you will vote for me and I promise to be the kindest most loving beauty pageant princess the world (virtual) has ever seen. I ask that George, Bush and Blair stop bombing the poor brave people of Irak and Afghanistan and after I have finished buffing and painting my nails luminescent peach I personally will handpen a letter to the G8 conference committee recommending Chanel No 5. What the world needs is more loveliness and less capsicum spray."

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The blogosphere is all awash with petulance, again.

Second-rate grizzler deplores

"Public de-linkings, and other similar traffic-whoring stunts".


I abhor traffic whores and had to think twice before even linking the pixel-dry lemon flirt in return. Now. To get back on topic (yick I hate sticky fingers). Replying to my detractors is time consuming, yet evils must necessarily be dealt with and I cannot pretend to not hiss back when spat at (eventually).

Where was. Oh yes.

If you thought distinguishing myself from that lefty poser Delftsman was a traffic stunt then you are a sadly deluded blogger indeed.

And you should give up right now. Because nobody cares about "sides". Your miserably small bevy of communist right-whinger poseurs have reached the end of their lines. Their well has cracked. Their letters have unraveled. The web war is over. The moderate passives won. Your time is up. (Someone had better point this out to the small disconnected team of self-appointed undercover operatives still roaming about without direction, few laggers seem to have lost contact with command control. Unless of course that really is ASIO tapping my phoneline).

Final word on counter-cloning; That a post seeking to untangle myself from Delftsman's murky smear campaign became the scene of repeated telegraph-pole piddling could not have been forecast, and if ankle-high golden showers are all your ilk aspire to then I am shocked and horrified.

Solutions;
(which I doubt you will want to hear, being a pissy moany run of the mill blog whore).

Stop whoring for links and start blogging for yourself instead of pandering to the misguided and two-dimensional perception that blogs have "sides".

Look behind your facade at your html and get back in touch with the three dimensions, Beth. Before you become an irredeemable socialist "all the world is against me" pawn.

I double-doubt you'll want to hear this, but you could fairly easily nip and tuck a blogger template to almost seamlessly match your page. It would load faster (blogger has improved even if Mamamontezz's strap-on hasn't) and it would be free so you wouldn't have to worry about all those one-way trackbackers hogging your bandwidth (playing by the rules indeed, next time before declaring "it's not fair" a self-branded "right-winger" might want to consider certain one-way liberties and oil-lines).

You may even be able to take your existing comment provider over to blogspot (or just use blogger's, it's remarkably glitch-free these days. Unless you're one of those precious blog-whores who likes to keep all her existing comments so that she can knotch them on her gaudy k-mart quality belt).

In short - blogger is undergoing "gentrification". Once the blog-squatter's virtual-warehouse of choice (large cheap and un-insulated) blogger is now a viable alternative for the dissatisfied "never can please" yuppie blog-wench. Unhappy with your lot? Go to blogger and have a template tutu (sigh, another word that'll go over sheltered northern hemispheric heads). Go to blogger and have a template fiddle. It's relaxing, like playing with leggo, or planning a holiday hut. You might even enjoy doing it again.

Update !!! Just googled "Mamamontez", em-im number one !!! Hah-ha. A list wringing link-whore might want to consider revising gripe No 23 in this respect. (Gutrumbles was number two and the fraudulant "every man should have a gun and a doberman" Rottweiler skank only number five, even after misspelling twice. Come to think of it, some outfit called "Blackfive" are there as well and so is combatarms - three times. Phoo, you righties are terrible spellers).

70 Australians detained. Seriously.

No longer content waylaying men in robes/beards and detaining asylum seekers, Australian airport security are now cracking down on comedians.

travelers have been warned not to indulge in typical Aussie humour at airports, with jibes like "never mind the bomb in my bag" now likely to land jokers in hot water.

The Australian Federal Police said more than 70 people had been detained and questioned for making such comments since new aviation safety laws came into effect in March, with five convictions recorded.

-- The Sydney Morning Herald this afternoon.


Note to self; be more deadpan. Travel without red clown nose.

Sh*t !!!

There is really no need to point out what a waste of staff-time this is, or how stii-upid it makes air security look. But I will anyway. More then 70 harmless humourists detained in less then two months, while somehow mean-while pot is smuggled out by the boogie-bag full. Does "prioritise and organise" mean anything to airport management?

Am I glad I'm not an airport security clerk - imagine being asked by your employer to detain simple funloving folk and keep an eye on the x-ray scanner and listen out for the metallic objects bleeper and be on the alert for select passport holders and keep a straight face all at the same time.

Slaves to trade

They sold us "War is Peace". And we let them. They sold us "Love is Hate". And we let them. They sold us nutrition with a packet of fries, a soulmate with a pill and beauty in a leaking silicon disk. And the consumer bought it all.

Will we let them sell us "Work is Freedom" ? Is this "the straw that broke the little pigs roof" ?

Or will we end up buying "industrial reform" too, chained to our wallets, forking out our weekly incomes for our weekly package deal of platitudes.

Sell your vision, bosses tell PM
By Nick O'Malley Workplace Reporter and Mark Metherell

Employers and the Federal Government have fallen out over the planned new era of industrial relations, blaming each other for failing to sell the reforms as polls reveal the public has turned against them.

Business leaders yesterday pressed the Government to launch immediately a publicity campaign to counter the ACTU's $8 million media blitz attacking the plan. But Government sources have expressed impatience at the failure of businesses to launch their own ad campaign.

SMH


Where will it end.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Will the Australian Labor party youth learn any lessons?

"The most striking lesson to arise from the ashes of Labors defeat is the primacy of leadership credentials. Mark Latham, at the time an apparent antidote to Labor's electoral woes, must now bear responsibility for the result of 2004. Much like that other firebrand, Howard Dean, the novel and mercurial leadership qualities that initially made Latham an elusive target for conservatives ultimately became his greatest liability".

Sam Indyk and Tim Soutphommasane c&e


What a load of rot. Sam Indyk is a smarmy little self interested wart trying to cover his tracks. Why? Because not only was Sam Indyk a member of Labor's last election team, he also worked on US Democrat Howard Dean's failed presidential campaign. The guy is playing the blame game - it's easy for him to point the finger at Latham now that Latham's "out". It's easy because Latham no longer holds a key position in Sam Indyk's ambitious path of self styled self promotion, no, Latham is no longer at the helm and Sam Indyk panders instead to his new perceived promoter - that lumbering tug Beazley. What a cretin is Sam, trying to offload his failed part in two major election campaigns by pointing the bone at Latham before anyone points it at Sam.

What is really wrong with the Australian Labor party? It's pompous young weak-willed members like Sam Indyk. Apart from thankful anomalies like Julia Gillard, the Australian Labor party youth for the most part have the spine of single celled organisms and rely on a framework of promotion to prop up their aspirations to leadership. The guys are algae growing in a petri dish, they have little or no empathy for anyone outside the party - in fact are afraid to speak to anyone who is not a party member. How quickly Labor's youth become disconnected from voter sentiment, relying on party polls and received wisdom to try and work out what might make them prime minister/treasurer/deputy one day.

Why did Latham quit the leadership? With pulp like Sam Indyk squelching about it's hardly a question that need be asked.

What lessons can the Australian Labor party learn then? Well, for a start, Labor is most effective when it sets aside it's ambitious (and delusional) internal scramblings for power and focuses on issues that matter. Issues with a clear alternative position. Like this;

The latest Herald Poll shows John Howard has incurred the biggest single plunge in his personal approval since taking office after declaring his tough industrial relations changes as his top priority for a Senate now ruled by the Coalition.

Despite troubled times for the Opposition, support for Labor has surged ahead of the Coalition - 54 per cent to 46 per cent in two-party-preferred terms.

After a week of nationwide protests and an ACTU television advertising campaign against the changes, the poll shows 60 per cent of Australians who are aware of the plans oppose them, including 23 per cent of Coalition supporters.

The pollster ACNielsen says the dramatic upturn in sentiment for the labour movement is a significant pointer to the first clash in a long time between the Government and Opposition on an issue of importance to many voters.


Sigh. And this is why I vote for the greens. They are much nicer then Sam, and can follow an agenda without aspirations to prime ministerial office (with four seats in the senate they can hardly pretend to have any).

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